Sarcasm
by demon twin
Summary: Sarcasm is my first language. Everything and anything else that I can speak comes after that. Short drabbles based on different Naruto characters.
1. Chapter 1

This is an incredibly short drabble and the ones that follow it are the same. They're fairly comical...I guess. I try to live up to the namesake of keeping it sarcastic, but some times it doesn't fit the random mini-plot that this one doesn't have. This one is Naruto's pov. He's...no idea how to put it.

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I know I'm always impatient, persistent, loud, and all those other words that truthfully mean annoying, but I'm smart enough to realize that wouldn't earn me the hate I receive in this village called Konoha. That means it's the Kyuubi. I know from descriptions that the Kyuubi is a giant legendary fox demon. Obviously, I'm not a legendary fox demon. That would be pretty cool if I was…or maybe if this "fox demon" actually liked me and tried to help me with my dreams! I really don't see that happening anytime soon.

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This is my first fanfiction, please tell me what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

This is from Kisame's point of view...

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While I am sure there are many rouge shinobi and fangirls that would **LOVE** to be in my position, I can't help but be completely bored during monthly akatsuki meetings. Besides Hidan, who I am sure no one listens to, no one wants to tell Leader that his voice puts us all to sleep(I hope that all the members aren't stupid), or tell Zetsu that his reports should be an hour or two shorter.(It's only been a month, how can you have that much to talk about!) I think I see Tobi falling asleep. Got riddance to that poor sap, he shall not be missed.

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This is my second time, ever, trying to post any fanfiction that I've written...And already I'm considering taking it down from the site. Please tell me what you think! *grabs 3 month old baby* -puppy eyes-


	3. Chapter 3

Temari's POV

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I will kill Kankuro. I'm sure he's not the worst brother in the world, because I know they are tons of things a brother could have done that are worse than accidentally burning everything in YOUR room. Not his room, your room. I know for a fact he would just adore me if all his CDs, clothes, posters, notebooks, random junk that was stuffed under his bed, textbooks, and homework were burned. Okay, he actually would love me for the last two. But it doesn't matter, because I will have my revenge. "Gaara, I mean Kazekage-sama, you owe me a favor right?"–Insert demonic smile here-

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I'm a little disappointed at how this turned out...No idea why...Still don't know if I should keep posting...Confidence in writing=0..Please tell me what you think!


	4. Chapter 4

Yay! 4th chapter!...It's about Sasuke, and set in shippuden. I think this is my first one with any kind of specific time...

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My entire life, I've been trying to kill my brother.  
Only to find out that it wasn't his idea in the first place, and he didn't kill them just to "test himself."  
I'm a total genius.  
I even gave up my best friend because I thought it would help me reach my goal.  
I know I can't go back to Konoha….I don't have many options.  
That's just great.

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I tried making it look at little different than before...Like I say at the end of every chapter...Please tell me what you think! Since the baby didn't work...-puppy eyes-

Oh and I _REALLY_ want to thank the anonymous reviewer Meimei...You're my first review so THANK YOU!..Too much caps...Oh well!


	5. Chapter 5

Yay! Zetsu POV! It's kinda strange...It would be so cool if I could argue with myself like this..I was told that was impossible because I only act/think like dark Zetsu...They say I'm the mean one.

**Dark Zetsu  
**Light Zetsu

**

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He should have stayed out of our way. **How could he? We were hunting him. **I would think he had enough common since to run. **How could he? We knocked him out! What is wrong with you today? **Of course, there is something wrong with ME. **Yes, there is something wrong with you! I am _sure _that you're a genius but don't you think that you could use your brain? **If I didn't use my brain, we wouldn't be able to have a mental argument. **I guess you are the smart side of us now, thank you for the knowledge. **Are you being sarcastic? **Of course not, someone with your intelligence would know if I am! **Oh, so you aren't. Good. **Why would I? Now let's go give our monthly report.

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**No idea what I was thinking when I wrote this...Hmmmmm...I don't know if I am satisfied with how this came out...Wow I say that a lot...oh well...I have a youtube video reference. :D**  
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	6. Chapter 6

This isn't very sarcastic. I'm not doing the name justice! It's Kakazu..and surprisingly not horrible OOC.

Disclamer: Don't own naruto...I always forget to put that.

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Hidan isn't an idiot, and I'm the tooth fairy…Which will never happen! The tooth fairy is my most hated person. Who would give away money just to make some random kid happy!(back on topic)It is amazing to me that that moron wants me to waste money on such a stupid cause! Medical expenses for an immortal…He doesn't need it, he doesn't get it. I would expect that even someone with his mind would know that the world revolves around money. He just doesn't understand. One day, when he is in great pain because of lack of food, or is being held for ransom. He will regret his words against the value of everything he will ever get.

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I actually have a partial quote from him in there...It's not very hard to guess! I say this every time but I don't know how this chapter came out..I only have one person(besides me) that tells me what they think before I post. I promise you they are not trustworthy.

Which reminds me: Dr. Stilla Live you are my hero. Thank you soo much for the review! I might do the next drabble on you're question...Maybe Gaara's pov or Temari's again...hmmm


	7. Chapter 7

This is kind of an answer to Dr. Stilla Live's review. They asked why Temari's room was burned. This is what I came up with. It's a little ooc...Gaara's POV. I love Gaara...He's awesome!

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When you send a shinobi out to find your sister, you expect them to come back with her. Not with the news that her room is burned and she is now tearing about Kankuro's room. I have a strange feeling I'm going to play mediator. I'm sure that will work. Yes, I'll just glaring is the perfect way to settle an argument. Both sides shut up. "What is the problem?" Apparently, Kankuro has been asked to make exploding tags…by the village elders,(Why are they 2nd in command again? He is a poison expert.) and apparently decided to use Temari's room so he didn't mess up in his own. Kankuro, its official. You have the brains in the family.

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As always...Please tell me what you think! I'm not sure if this one is funny or not...but it sounds like something I would say. So I laugh. I've just realized that my chapters are getting longer...Yes, it did take me that long. :D

JeffPrower

You are an amazing person! Thanks for you're two reviews!


	8. Chapter 8

This is the shortest one yet. Hmm..I wanted to do a Shikamaru..but I couldn't really think of much.

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I will never get a break.

Everything is troublesome.

I know everyone around me loves to cause people to go deaf, but what did I do to them. Sleep while they were telling me all their problems? Knowing that troublesome Ino, it is probably something like that .Hey that cloud looks nice. Ahhhh, this is troublesome."SHIKAMARU GET OVER HERE!" I don't say things without a reason, my ear is killing me. Couldn't she leave me alone? Of course she can't, how could I suggest that? She's troublesome.

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Shikamaru...Just thinking about him makes me tired. Thanks to Dr Stilla Live and JeffPrower..Again. You guys rock. I'm insanely happy about halloween. I'm going to be "Evil" and I was told that wasn't a change from anything normal. Ya...My friends are jerks.


	9. Chapter 9

It's been a couple days since I last update...Hmmm...I guess it's because I tried posting another story..I don't think I'll continue it. This one is a little sad. It's one of my longer chapters. Kakashi's POV

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My group has the best team work. They constantly talk with each other and usually get everything done in a matter of time. They kind of remind me of my old team. I know everyone tells me it's not my fault but it is. They told me it was the only way, but it wasn't. My choice is the reason I'm standing over the memorial stone. Of course, I'm not an idiot and I know enough about what I was thinking at the time to understand my decision. The village council is full of geniuses, but who gets angry at a man for saving a human life and is content when someone else is depressed for a loss of a life? It seems to me that they had something to do with the Uchiha massacre, too. Whenever there is a meaningless death or a false spread of information in Konoha, I am now sure that the council is involved. Yes, our city is run by the best of the best.

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I have no idea whether I'm happy or sad with how this came out. It's fairly OOC...I didn't really like this one or last one..Thanks for the thousandth time to JeffPrower for reviewing!


	10. Chapter 10

I seriously am sorry about not updating for a while...I have a couple reasons but they all sound like stupid excuses...Like working on my other story and not be home at all for the past week. Oh well. Sasori's POV. It's about deidara though..

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The brat has no since of art. Art is eternal, anyone with common sense can tell, otherwise we wouldn't have the famous art we have today. None of the art that is praised(besides by himself) has been simple fireworks or explosions that last a few seconds that he calls "fleeting." He has common sense so he should be able to tell. Sure he does. I bet he's going to blow himself up for a cause that will be a complete waste someday. That shows complete common sense. I hate waiting, where is he?

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Starting off with thanks for Dr stilla live for the review. Then the always present: I have no idea how this chapter came out so please tell me what you think! Last...No idea when I am going to update next...I'm starting to get more free time, but I'm starting to get writer's block...How you can get writer's when your stories don't have a plot...I have no idea.

Story time! I hit myself over the head with a tennis racket on Monday!


	11. Chapter 11

New chapter! Yay!...It's Kankuro's POV and I guess you could say it is a preclude to the Temari and Gaara one. Have fun!

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I'm a poison expert. The only reason I took this job is because the elders told me I would get a week vacation. I have no idea what I am doing. My best choice is to hope I don't blow something up. I really question the choice of the elders in choosing me, but I'm not the kind of guy to look a gift horse in the mouth. Sure I'm not. Like when I was so thankful to Temari because she gave me her second favorite fan. That's bad example! I was thankful to Gaara when he….Okay! I'm not a thankful person but you always have to look out for numero uno right?

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Okay...I haven't been liking the latest ones...I'm starting to have a hard time coming up with ideas. I have a poll on my profile on whether I should make this story as complete and stop updating and if I should quit my other story, "Never."

I'm sure I say this at the end of almost every chapter now. Thank you Dr Stilla Live for the review!

I doubt I need to say it but thanks for the reviews Ananymous Reviewer...You rock.

**If you have any suggestions feel free to tell me!**


	12. Chapter 12

This is the final chapter of sarcasm. I'm really sad, but I can't think of ideas anymore. The quality of each chapter is worse than the one before it lately. This is a chapter about Kiba. Out of every Konoha shinobi, my favorites are Kiba, Kotetsu, and Izumo...Don't ask why. I don't mean to bash Naruto, Kiba is just jealous. I really hope you like it!

DISCLAMER: I don't own naruto.

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This is just great. It obvious she likes the idiot. She is over there blushing up a storm while I'm sitting here in self-pity. That is just the best feeling in the world. What does she see in him? He's loud, annoying, and just plain stupid. Sure, he has a bad past, and he gives an inspiring speech every once in a while but that doesn't give her any reason to like him. He's never done a thing for her in his life besides make her pass out. Akamaru almost tackled me off the log I was sitting on. I have a mind reading puppy. That or my dog feels the need to jump on people when they sigh. She fainted again. He doesn't deserve her.

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That concludes the 12 drabbles known as Sarcasm. I'm really sad to end it, but I never thought it would be this long. This chapter is a lot different than all the others, but it popped into my head. Please tell me what you think! This is the last chapter and I really want to know what people think of it, and Sarcasm as a whole. :D


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